Two Years

 Two Years. Wow. Two years ago, we officially began our adoption journey. 

October 5, 2018. The day we mailed our first check to our agency.

I feel like the people in that photo are very different than the people we are today, yet I feel like we've been stuck in the same place since that day. When we started our adoption process, most people adopting from India had their child home in 18 months to "two years max". Two years MAX. Those were the words we heard. Now, of course, our agency was great and warned us of all the unknowns of international adoption and how timelines can halt or speed up for apparently no reason at any time, but what we focused on was "two years max". We had all the "what ifs" in the back of our head, but tried to remain positive, and thought that in 2020 (which really seemed like forever away) we'd be parents. Obviously, here we are, two years later, and we don't even know who our child is yet. We've been waiting 13 months for a match, and every time I get an email my heart jumps and I pray that it's THE email, but it's usually just Old Navy telling me about a sale. No one expected changes within the adoption office of the Indian government and no one definitely expected a pandemic.

Now, that's enough about us. While this season has been very difficult, let me say that I'd still do every second again, because this is not about us. This is about a child. Our child. A child that needs a home and a family, and we are that family. I don't know exactly why God called us to adoption or why international adoption or why India, but I believe that He did, and I believe that He called us at this specific time, with this wait, for a reason. 

I've wanted to be a mom since I could hold a baby doll, so I've been tempted to think that if we'd moved faster on certain things or started sooner, then I'd have a child by now, but I push those thoughts away. Because, again, this is not about me. We are not adopting so we can have a child, we are adopting so that a child who needs a home and a family can have one, and that child is out there and we will meet them when the time is right. Not my time, but God's time. I wholeheartedly believe that He knows and has chosen the child that is meant to be in our family. I pray daily for whoever they are, and I pray that God prepares our hearts to be the parents they need. They will have already been through so much in their little life, and I pray He will use us to bring security and healing to their life. We aren't special in anyway to have this great honor, but I hope that we can raise this child in a way that they know without a doubt they are loved, safe, and cherished. 

We can't express enough how much it has to meant to have people say that they are still praying or thinking about us. Since it's been 13 months with no update, I know it must sometimes seem like, "are they even still adopting?" The answer is yes. There are still so many children in India with special needs who need families. Children belong in families, and just because the administrative part of things is taking longer, doesn't mean that need is gone. So, thank you for continuing to pray for these babies who are waiting for a family and for us who wants to bring them home. 

Please excuse all my ramblings in this post. If you've stuck around this long, please join us in praying first for our child (whomever they may be). Pray for their safety, health, and that they will know they are loved until we can get to them. Pray also for our hearts. Pray that I won't be selfish in the waiting and will be reminded that God has appointed a season for all things. Pray we will be matched with our child in God's perfect timing. 

Thank you all for the love and support shown to us through this journey. This sweet baby doesn't even know how loved they already are!