Skip to main content

Contentment

Contentment. It's been a recurring theme in my life lately. 

I listen to podcasts while I drive, and two podcasts in the last week have talked about being content in where you are in life right now. This has been something I've struggled with through this adoption.
I love my job. I love being a wife. I love taking care of my dog. I love time with friends. I love being involved in our church. I love traveling, but right now, I'm having trouble loving these things because my desire to be a mom is so great.
We have been "in the process" for ten months now and likely have at least that long (if not more) left. I have wanted to be a mom since I can remember. We started praying about starting the adoption process over a year ago, and we truly thought we'd be farther along by now. Sometimes I feel as if I'm missing my calling-- that I'm called to mother a child right now, but I'm not. Not yet.
So, my prayer lately has been for contentment. Of course, I'm still praying for the process to go quicker and to be able to bring our baby home soon, but I'm also asking the Lord to give me peace and strength to do what I'm doing right now.
For now, I'm still called to love on my sweet hospice babies at work. I'm called love my husband. I'm called to do paperwork, email social workers, and wait. I'm called now to be in this adoption process and live in the unknown. I have felt myself trusting God more and becoming closer to Him through this process. It hasn't been easy, but I'm learning.
Labels:

Comments

  1. TB SorrellsAugust 5, 2019 at 7:26 PM

    Wow, Lenze...this is heartfelt and raw and real. Thank you for being so transparent as it helps me as I strive to be content in the “here and now” of walking with the Lord. I’m praying for you and Cody and the sweet child that God has already chosen to be yours...in His time. I love y’all.❤️

    ReplyDelete
  2. Travis CrossAugust 21, 2019 at 7:55 AM

    Continued prayers for both of you and all that you are seeking the Lord for.! Love you all! Pastor Travis

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We're Matched!

I haven't been as good about writing and updating the blog this time around. That might have something to do with having a very energetic, medically complex five-year-old this time.  But, I thought this important update deserved a full post! We are matched with the sweetest little 18 month old girl in India. We can't give a lot of information until she's officially ours, but we are all in love! Ruthanne looks at her pictures everyday and talks about all the things they are going to do together.  Some common questions we've gotten... 1. She does also have medical needs, but not the same diagnosis as Ruthanne. So, we will be navigating a new disability, specialists, etc with this little one! 2. Yes, this adoption has gone A LOT faster than Ruthanne's, but we really have no way of knowing how quickly the rest will go. No pandemic should hopefully help this time around though! 3. Why? We have a heart for children who need families. There is a staggering number of kids i
Post a Comment
Read more

Ruthanne Vishakha Ramage

  One year ago today, on February 2, 2021, we saw the face of our daughter for the first time. She was wearing a green dress and had the most precious little smile. We instantly knew she was going to be in our family.  A whole year has passed since this precious child has been ours in our hearts. Now, she is, as of January 18th, 2022, legally our daughter as well. She is Ruthanne Vishakha Ramage. She is a daughter. She is loved. She is wanted.  We have spent everyday of the last year praying for her. Praying for her health. Praying to be with her soon. Praying she knows that she is loved so much. Praying for the tough transition she will face leaving all she has ever known to come into our family.  We have had the great privilege of getting to video chat with her regularly over the last year. This isn't very common with international adoptions so we don't take this honor lightly! We are so glad we've gotten the chance to get to know each other, even for just an hour or so a
1 comment
Read more

Two Years

 Two Years. Wow. Two years ago, we officially began our adoption journey.  October 5, 2018. The day we mailed our first check to our agency. I feel like the people in that photo are very different than the people we are today, yet I feel like we've been stuck in the same place since that day. When we started our adoption process, most people adopting from India had their child home in 18 months to "two years max". Two years MAX. Those were the words we heard. Now, of course, our agency was great and warned us of all the unknowns of international adoption and how timelines can halt or speed up for apparently no reason at any time, but what we focused on was "two years max". We had all the "what ifs" in the back of our head, but tried to remain positive, and thought that in 2020 (which really seemed like forever away) we'd be parents. Obviously, here we are, two years later, and we don't even know who our child is yet. We've been waiting 13 m
Post a Comment
Read more